Been Awhile...

Fiberglass

A – [Presumptuously] I assume you want one.
B – Don’t mind if I do… and what’s with the tone.
A – Well when you said you quit I figured you were going to stop smoking rather than just stop buying the packs.
B – [Smirking] What… you don’t like buying for me?
A – [Laughing] You’re such a cheap-ass.
B – It’s not my fault you’re feeding my addiction in my moments of weakness.
A – That’s hogwash! Knowing you there is probably a full pack in your car, and this exchange, or scam rather, just prolongs the time in which you’ve got to buy another.
B – Haha, I don’t but I’ll give you a break and get my own.
A – Why did you start that whole “I need to quit” thing any way.
B – I don’t know every day it’s something new, some new scare tactic on one of those TRUTH commercials or just random shit you hear.
A – Well what was so bad that it made you start leeching off me. [Laughs]
B – I don’t even remember, but I did overhear something about Menthols that was intriguing to say the least.
A – And what would that be?
B – Someone was saying how like, tobacco companies put fiberglass in them or something, I don’t even know if it’s true but who would buy those knowing that that was a possibility.
A – Well I don’t know what you want me to say about those said consumers but the fiberglass thingamajig is somewhat misleading.
B – Like not true?
A – Well technically it’s in all cigarettes, but it’s in the filters, over time it’s been reduced but there is still some knocking around in there.
B – Why don’t they just get rid of all of it? Seems like it would help there cause a little.
A – Well to my knowledge the whole reason it might be in there is to cool the smoke as it passes through, some heat resistant thing, could be wrong. But hey, if your so worried about it just cut off the filter, I’m sure that’ll do you a lot of good.
B – [Laughs] I think the cons out way the pros. It could be worse I suppose.
A – Well it has, remember when Kent came out with that latest and greatest cigarette.
B – I know the name but that was like… I don’t know… before our time.
A – Well I don’t mean remember as if we were around.
B – Gotcha.
A – Well anyway they came out with some big time Micronite filter, it was the talk of the town at the time.
B - …And?
A – Well turns out this big deal filter contained that good old asbestos they were all so fond of at the time. In the end, no one said cigs were good for ya.
B – Except when they were, and doctors didn’t have a problem sharing a smoke with a patient while he was attempting to figure out where this whole lung cancer thing came from!
[Laughter]
A – Point made… so are you going to quit now you know all this business?
B – Nah, I mean I think I can stop whenever I want to, but simply put, I just don’t want to.
A – Yeah… [Smiles while finishing cigarette]… Nicotine’s funny like that.
B – How do you know all of this jargon anyway?
A – I took that Anatomy and Physiology class back in High School, and every so often we would be subject to a PSA on the dangers of smoking, drinking, etc.
B – I suppose you got the smoking lecture on lung day?
A – Yeah haha, we even did this test to see who had the best lung capacity… naturally smokers do shitty, and non-smokers do better. Then he started raving about this tuba player kid whose record still stood.
B – I imagine you were on the left side of the bell curve.
A – On the contrary, I beat the Tuba player.

Just thinking about the past that passed

I look at you as a friend,
Nothing more,
Nothing less,
Who would've thought this was the end,
I know,
It's my fault not yours,
You went foward and then hit a curve,
This guys is back in you life but who the fuck cares,
Not me I put my two cents,
I told you I couldn't.....It was just a one time event,
I would've thought twice before I made those moves,
Is not like you made stopped,
You wanted more,
I felt like such a whore,
She bragged to her friends how it was better than the one before.
She was like a one wing dove,
Then I said I was still in love,
This just crushed,{because I never had emotions towards her}
Never with you but with the same one as always,
All I heard was a silent fuck you and you got of my way,
I never wanted to get your hopes up,
It's just that I said nope,
It's never the girl,
Is always me,
This is why we could never be.

Open Mic Announced

Hi everyone,

I'm Wendy and, though I haven't posted, I have commented in a couple places on this blog. I've enjoyed living vicariously through Ron's accounts of your meetings - wish I could be there, too. I wanted to let you all know that the date for the Open Mic is now set. ASG is paying for a coffee-house style array of foods and beverages. It'll be Monday, April 28th at 12. So - tell your friends and prep your stuff! It should be a good time. Flyers will be out in the next week.

Dialogue Draft

The Truman Show

A- Have you ever had one of those coincidental occurances that make it seem like your on the Truman Show?
B- [Confused Look]
A- Like when something shows up on TV that is extremely topical to your life.
B- I'm gonna need an example.
A- Alright well like like other day... I was watching Hot Shots Part Duex when...
B- Wait... can I ask why?
A- TV was proving to be rather unamusing and it was all that was on, but even so I find it comical, but that's
besides the point.
B- Alright but don't think I'm letting that go.
A- Well anyway at one point Charlie Sheen's character is moving downriver in like Vietnam and Martin Sheen goes by
in the opposite direction.
B- As if he was the character from Acopocalypse Now?
A- Exactly, which is why it was funny...
B- Debatable.
A- Well regardless, my company didn't see the humor in it and I went on to explain that Martin Sheen is Charlie
Sheen's father, and then stated that I thought it would be humorous if Emilio Estevez had made an appearance at
some point in the movie.
B- Okay?
A- Well I got the same look from this person that you gave me earlier, which basically illustrated the question of
"why?"
B- So he was unaware of the relation.
A- Exactly I went on to explain the Emilio Estevez was Charlie Sheen's brother and it was like telling L. Ron
Hubbard that science fiction is in fact fiction.
B- Careful what you say, you might end up being found in a hotel room's tub with all your skin boiled off just
because you don't believe in UFO's.
A- Well I'm sure there is more to it than that but I get what you mean, and even in that instance as long as I
passed the modern medical marvel the "E-meter" I'm sure I would be fine.
B- Oh absolutely, and for some reason the more money you have to give the healthier the E-Meter reads you, how
peculiar...
A- Haha, you know in Germany they list it as a business not a religion, matter of fact a lot of areas don't see it
as one.
B- Probably because their pyramids aren't exactly the same as Ancient Egyptians.
A- Check and mate haha [High Five]... wait what the fuck was I talking about?
B- [Mockingly] Part Deux
A- Right, well like I was saying before that whole schpeal... I just couldn't convince the guy.
B- Well did you present a sound argument or did you just repeat the fact over and over with a little more
enthusiasm each time? Because that wouldn't convince me either...
A- Believe me I went through it all, I told him that Martin Sheen was once Martin Estevez pre-spotlight and that he
changed it when he hit it big.
B- So wait Estevez was the original name, I thought Emilio changed it for reasons on par with Jon Voight's daughter
making the change, to avoid special treatment and things of that nature.
A- No, Sheen is the stage name, Charlie took it and Emilio had some family pride thing going for him so he kept it.
B- Well that I did not know... so he didn't budge?
A- No he gave me that look as if he was so pleased with himself for seeing through my non-existant bullshit.
B- Alright well I'm assuming your cosmic coincidence is coming.
A- Your assumption is correct, some few hours later guess whose True Hollywood Story starts to broadcast?
B- Mick Jager!
A- [Ignores] Charlie Sheen
B- And so your ongoing feud is resolved through the median of all medians... television.
A- Yes but that's not my point, it's the very instance that I was just having this peculiar argument about god
knows what and right then and there the overwhelmingly topical subject is aired.
B- Alright well I get what you mean now, I have had that happen to me a few times like if I'm talking about a
specific episode of a specific show and the next day it's on.
A- Exactly!
B- Matter of fact remember when I was trying to think of the name of that spiked fruit that I was drawing a blank
on?
A- Yeah I looked it up, [Forced Smarmy Tone]it was the African Horned Melon, also known as the Kiwano if I am not
mistaken. [Smirk]
B- ...No, it was a pineapple.
A- What kind of idiot are you?
B- Give me a break my mind went blank for some reason, and I mean it's not like you thought it up.
A- [Laughing] I assumed you would know what a fucking pinapple was.
B- [Smiling] Well regardless I turned on the tube early the next morning and some infomercial for these
"industructably sharp kitchen knives" where he throws up a pineapple and cuts it in half in mid-air to demonstrate
the quality.
A- [Commercialized Voice] "Look as it cuts through this pineapple in two with one slice!"
B- Exactly
A- Haha, well as long as you get what I mean.
B- What ever happened to Charlie Sheen anyway, I don't see him anymore.
A- He's on that shit show Two and a Half Men with that ugly kid and some douche playing his brother.
B- So I take it your a fan?
A- It's really not that bad, it's just that I hate the guy that plays his brother, his face just makes me want to
break whatever is in my reach.
B- Yeah I know the type, afterall that's how Bush got re-elected...
A- [Forced Laugh] Yeah people weren't prepared to have Herman Munster adressing the nation I guess.
B- Haha, [Sing song] "he's creepy and you know it"...Charlie Sheen is basically the only reason it's still on the
air anyway.
A- That's the theme to the Adams Family not the Munsters... but yeah I would say so, I mean it's the fricken Wraith
of the 80's, he even kept that show Spin City going after Michael J. Fox had to leave.
B- What's the show about anyway.
A- Charlie sleeping with numerous women and his brother moping around in jealousy, it would not surprise me if the
producers reveal he is gay.
B- Does he express an interest in men?
A- Not really but the character just has that underlying "thing" about him, plus it would make it another one of
those groundbreaking shows.
B- [Sarcastically] Like Ellen?
A- [Laughing] Well now that society is more accepting of it the show would probably not be canceled, matter of fact
Ellen got a show back anyway.
B- Fair trade I suppose... you seemed irked on this subject.
A- No it's just Hollywood canceling Ellen because they didn't want to go against the grain, and Rosie O'Donnel...
which I was somewhat thankful for so bad example. But then giving her a different show later on and no harm done.
B- Yeah I know what you mean. However I do wish they would cancel Will and Grace... that show overboard gay! Not
that there is anything wrong with that.
A- [Ignores] [Saracastically] I suppose that's why it's "funny." I mean I don't have a problem with it, it's not
something I judge someone by but the second the public display of affection occurs I am heading for the nearest
hill.
B- [Laughing] PDA too much?
A- Yes sir, if that make me a shit person so be it, I'd just rather avert the eyes with haste. It's just not within
the comfort zone.
B- I'm the same way to some degree, but I am sure we are the typical walking contradictions that is man when I
ask... and with homosexual women?
A- Be that as it may, at least we realize the hypocracy, we just can't explain it.
B- Turn to Dr. Ruth.
A- Well I'll have to ask her some time.
B- I bet she has a fucking chapeter Mr. Sheen! Something tells me he isn't much different in real life from the
show.
A- Obviously, I mean Denise Richards couldn't even control the man, Denise Richards!
B- So what?
A- Have you seen Wild Things... Hooah!
B- "You know you look exactly like Al Pacino from Serpico... hooah! hooah!"
A- Alright that's three now with the Seinfeld references!
B- I wasn't sure you picked up on them.
A- I was ignoring you so I didn't get sidetracked again and have to ask you whatever it was we were talking about.
B- [Laugh].
A- It was Scent of A Woman by the way, not Serpico.
B- Shit I knew that sounded wrong.
A- [Smirk] Whose your favorite character of all of them?
B- Of the four?
A- Anybody.
B- I got to go with George Costanzas father... [Annoyed] help me out I'm having a fucking pineapple moment here.
A- Frank
B- Right! [Laughs] "There's the rooster, the hen, and the chicken. The rooster goes with the hen, so whose having
sex with the chicken? Somethings missing!"
A- "The rooster has sex with all of them."
B- "That's perverse!"
A- That is hands down the greatest sitcom of all time.
B- There is not one I don't like.
A- What is the difference between the Hen and Chicken anyway?
B- Who cares I just think their fetuses are great food.
A- [Confused Expression]
B- ...Eggs, you know, scambled sunnyside up what-have-you.
A- I know what it is but it's not like you eating an under-developed chicken.
B- What do you think the yoke is?
A- Not what you think it is obviously.
B- Well then what the hell is your theory?
A- Well it's not my theory but what happens is chickens lay eggs regardless of a rooster being present. This is
what goes on in farms, they continously lay eggs that go unfertilized and then we take them, package them, buy them
as consumers and eat them. It's only when the rooster is involved that fetuses are a part of the egg equation.
B- That's stupid, the rooster and chicken do what they do and as an effect, the chicken lays an egg. We just eat it
before it gets to... you know, familiar. That's also why they are refridgerated, to slow the process.
A- Then what they hell is the point of the saying "Keep the rooster out of the hen house?"
B- I don't know, maybe those are the chickens they are fattening up to kill and eat. They don't want to have to
deal with eggs and stuff.
A- Do you honestly believe that?
B- [Convinced] It's what happens!
A- You do realize what's going to happen right?
B- Since your expecting it it's not going to happen... and if it does you are in fact in the Truman Show, and
anyway it will prove me right.
A- Look it up for god sakes!
B- Whatever man I'm planning on it... it doesn't matter what you think you like fucking Hot Shots Part Duex.

Dialogue

Plasma
A – What exactly is plasma?
B – [Confused expression with smile]
A – Well do you know or what?
B – It’s the stuff they put in television sets to make them better.
A – Yeah “ha-ha” well aside from the obvious, I always figured it to be the matter between liquid and solid..
B – Sounds familiar, so like gel.
A – Yeah a gelatin of some sort, but now I don’t get what Goldblum was ranting about with the “drinking from the plasma springs” and what not.
B – Yeah , is it something specific or vague?
A – That’s what I’m wondering, I mean the way Mr. Brundle talks about it, it could very well be on par with what’s in Marcelus Wallas’ briefcase.
B – [Smile] [pause]… What do you think was in the case.
A – Orange lights.
B – No I mean figuratively not literally. Plasma?
A – [Doubtful look]
B – Well let’s see here, I mean the movie aspect of thing takes care of fiction, and your apparent definition of plasma seems to fit Pulp rather well.
A – Point taken, but for some reason I don’t believe a pile of slop would be very visually arresting or recognizable enough for Orange to inquire… “is that what I think it is?”
B – You mean Tim Roth?
A – Roth-Ringo-Orange-1900 whatever you get my point.
B – Yeah… and I don’t think “beautiful” would fit either… I thought gold for awhile… well I still do.
A – That works, I mean who wouldn’t stare at gold, the only thing that bothers me is Roth asking if that’s what he thought it was, I mean gold is gold… unless is what in some weird form like powder.
B – Or plasma…
A - … yeah right [smirks].
B – I mean who knows, probably for the better we don’t… with all the expectation anything that might actually be in there would be a let down.


Arby's
A: Hungry?
B: I guess...
A: Let's get some some fast food, work for you?
B: Yeah, I suppose - I mean I dont love the stuff but I can manage - Why fast food though? There's plenty of places around here.
A: Well...We've been driving forever man, and there's an Arby's (proceeds to point at it) Just drive in or through or whatever - my stomach is killing me
B: No, never been to Arby's and don't plan on it, besides, Arby's is not fast food - they serve roast beef.
A: (Thoroughly confused) What? Of course it is, they have a drivethrough!
B: Here let me make it easy for you. I see burgers, fries, selzer with flavoring, or maybe even a special meal for children I think fast food. I see roast beef I do not. I mean doesn't roast beef take a moderate time to make?
A: ...What do you mean you have never been to Arby's? And I don't no, even if it does... the amazment of the fast food chain has impressively found a way to quicken the pace.
B: While you say amazement, I'm thinking peculiar, either those things are cooked in bulk and sit under a lamp all day or there is some other alterior thing going on that I am sure I would like less.
A: You know what just pull into the god-damn Arb(interrupts himself mid-word and nonchalauntly says..)hey Burger King pull in there(They pull in)
B: You do realize it is your duty as a passenger to hand me the food I want when I want it.A: Yeah yeah, I saw that commercial too...
B: What no conflict? Shocker.
A: Well hey the concept makes sense and the commercial was cool. I'm not going to hold food in front of your trap so you can bite it though.
B: I was going to be a dick and try and make you but yeah i know.
A: Wait why don't you just pull over?
B: I'm planning on it.
A: Then why the debacle?
B: Just making sure we agree on the scenario.


LOLA
A – Did you know Lola’s a man?
B – Lola who?
A – No, L-O-L-A Lola, like… C-O-L-A Col…
B – Oh right, right… the song… wait where’d this come from?
A – I was listening to 1-0-2-1 and Pat Kelly made some crack about gender mix up before the song switched on the air
B – Whose Pat Kelly?
A – The radio host.
B – Ah… Possibly unrelated?
A - Well no I picked apart the lyrics and he more or less draws the conclusion that Lola’s a man.
B – Who?
A – The guy singing the song!
B – (Chuckle)…. Now that you mention I never really knew what “walks like a women but talks like a man” was alluding to…
A – Heh yeah well he gets down to the brass tacks when the end of the song draws near he basically lays it on the line that she’s thw proud owner of a Y chromosome.

...

I Can't See Them Coming Down My Eye,

Males don't know why,

So don't I,

A man can't cry,

Believe me I tried,

My facial expression don’t tell stories,

Of how we just say "I am sorry,"

Even on our peak,

We don’t look weak,

The emotions are rare,

But in the inside we really care,

This might be the reason that I can't sleep at night,

Good thing because if we do it's an ugly sight,

Emotions showed… slightly never,

For now this shit is over.

Fear of Flying

"It was clear to me that thinking yourself superior was a sure sign of being inferior and that thinking yourself extraordinary was a sure sign of being ordinary"

-Erica Jong